urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs flirtlcs flirtlcs 2006-02-16T04:30:19Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:2981 2006-02-16T04:30:19Z 2006-02-16T04:30:19Z i need a new picture...thats all there is to it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:2610 2006-02-11T16:03:20Z 2006-02-11T16:03:20Z well holy shit. I havent been on here in a LOOONG time.... I'm kinda addicted to my myspace. I mostly put all of my blogs and shit on there. But not too much has been going on. Im getting ready to find a new job. Moving out soon. Hopefully getting my liscense soon bc my permit is almost expired and if I have to do any more paperwork, I want it to be for my liscense. I still pretty much HATE everyone that I did before and a few more. Work is still shitty (hence the reason im finding a new job). But, thats about it. Later!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:2370 2005-12-04T09:27:23Z 2005-12-04T09:27:23Z hmm...then again, i suppose that they wouldnt go to this live journal thing so they may not figure out who im talking about. thank god for myspace. haha urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:2223 2005-12-04T09:24:15Z 2005-12-04T09:24:15Z o.k., well tonite was pretty fun. I went to Brandi's birthday party, then I went to subway and saw my friend dave. talked to him about a situation he is in. and i got to see the hott dave!!! we had a few cigarette breaks together. Then I went back home and checked e-mail, and I got invited to go to the movies with rissa and Justin. But we stopped at the beloved subway first...I got free cookies!! :-D Then We tried to go to the movies but all of them were ran out. haha! so we came back to Justin's place. II suggested Family guy as a good show to watch on DVD but I fell asleep after 2 episodes. haha! Then I was awoken with text messages and I can't fall back asleep so here I am. U ever have one person that U don't want to talk to but at the same time u'd die if u didn't talk to them? No person in particular....it just came across my mind is all. Maybe someone will figure out what this means and who its directed at....?~ I'm hott! She's Not!!!!! I win! :-D. On the plus side.....I think this Dave character likes me, maybe. wow1 this chair is hurting the hell outta my back. w/e. this is crazy talk!!! later!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:1915 2005-11-15T15:47:48Z 2005-11-15T15:47:48Z A q.t. called me yesterday! Not naming names. But n e who. I have date on Wednesday. Idk if I still wanna go or not. Visited Johnson yesterday. it was fun! I missed all of my friends. They seemed happy to see me which is good. I got plenty of hugs, and told I look hott twice! well it was more like 5 times but 2 different people. :-D it was cool. Might go back today for a quick visit. Can't stay bc I have work :-( boo...Work sucks. I used to like my job but as of late I just dont get excited to go work. There's new people that i dont know and cant talk to bc they work cashiering and I work food ave. Tony keeps making us go through all the food and shit and get rid of the old things, AND~ We keep having these inspections and reviews pop up outta nowhere. So we have been really busy cleaning. and yea...I just don't like people so i guess going out to see people isn't too enthralling. I used to like people! But that was taken from me. kinda lame...but yea, Im bored so im gonna go. Ill update l8r! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:1766 2005-11-14T17:41:33Z 2005-11-14T17:41:33Z so....I give the fuck up actually. It's really cold and I wish it would snow. I love snow! I hung out with a friend or two yuesterday until early in the morning and then I made the mistake of going on the internet and talking to someone I shouldn't have...oh the mistakes I make in my life...I bet I couldn't count them with my own two hands. Why are people such assholes to me? I seem to attract the assholes. They kinda use me, or maybe I let them use me? maybe it's not their fault in the least. well w/e too much to think about for right now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:1521 2005-11-10T16:50:23Z 2005-11-10T16:50:23Z I don't know how to say this and be taken seriously...I just don't feel like anyone really honestly cares. The only thing I can think of that I need is a shoulder to cry on. thats all I want is for someone to just sit there and listen to me. It seems as if whenever i ask for anyone to listen to me they just let their mind wander. I don't think anyone could possibly know what the hell I'm going through right now. So, please, someone just offer to listen to me. call me, come hang out with me. Anything...? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:1246 2005-11-10T15:39:37Z 2005-11-10T15:39:37Z well....not much to say except i am pretty sure that my life is getting more boring by the day. I visited my old high school the other day. It was nice to see all of my old friends. It made my day. It made me forget all the shit that went on since I left. I think I'm going back again today. Hmm.....well, Now I have to work the day after Thanksgiving....That kind of pisses me off. It's my fault though because I was asked to and I told them I could..bleh..I hate being nice...It gets me nowhere. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:901 2005-11-08T16:46:19Z 2005-11-08T16:46:19Z So.....Why is it so hard to just drop it? How can I still feel so god damn hung up!? It's driving me crazy that it was so abruptly ended. It fucking hurts like hell and I don't see why......Should I just let it go and not give a shit anymore?? How can it just be that easy? I wish it were that easy. I wish I could just say "fuck it" and move on but for some damn reason this one is taking the longest time to get over. I think the worst part that sucks is that they have more than likely moved on.....I just tried so fucking hard to get what I had in the first place and then it was like it was just ripped right from me without warning. All I wanted to do was talk. Was that so hard to do? I just wanted some reasoning as to why it was how it was.....And I didn't get that, I got left wondering what the fuck to do.....God! i was so fucking happy with it! I was more happy than I had been in almost a year and then it was just taken from me and I'm left feeling worse than I have in almost that same year. Maybe I just have it coming to me. i have never made anything last more than two months and I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe this time I could make it work but I guess i am just the same shitty person that the other people saw. Not even worth fighting for, not worth getting past one fight, not worth a second chance.....And yet they all still wonder, why I'm never happy, why I never feel secure....It's because I can just tell that one day, It'll just end, I can always see it coming, maybe I deserved it? Maybe all the while, I try to prepare myself for the end when what i should do is enjoy what I have? Who knows...all I know is I want it back and I don't see myself getting it, no matter how fucking hard I work on it. I don't see myself even getting it to where I had it before I started it. Haha. That really doesn't make sense to anyone but me...Then again, why do I care. It's not like it's helping me any...It's just making me feel like even worse shit than I did when I woke up this morning. NOTHING in the world is worth so much of my time like this...so then why do I keep it going? maybe the only thing that can end it is the only thing that wont end it....maybe I'm just a fucking lame that keeps questioning things she has no business questioning..well, whatever the fuck it is I just want it to fucking end! I have never wanted this feeling. The main reason I was so unhappy for that year...I avoided letting myself be happy because I knew that being happy would lead to being worse than I was...That seems to be the only fucking thing that I was right about. Fuck it...I give the fuck up. None of this shit is helping anyways. The only question I'm left with is why? A question that will probably go without an answer. How's that for psycho-analyzing yourself? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:584 2005-11-03T16:36:26Z 2005-11-03T16:36:26Z well, Nothing really new here. This site confuses the hell outta me most of the time....I got to see Courtney yesterday! :-D she might come over again today too. she was in the hospital quite a few times these past weeks. well that about it. i gotta go. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:flirtlcs:309 2005-11-01T06:13:43Z 2005-11-01T06:13:43Z hey!. well this is the pointless first entry..this journal site is so much different than the other ones i have...i'll get the hang of it tho.